Ok, so I think the universe is testing me. There's me speaking about positivity and not sweating the small stuff and work throughs me the biggest curveball of a stressful day. And I'm not even there! I'm at home ill. But its our big event tommorow and so there was a load of stuff that I had to do.
Which ironically I wouldnt have had to do if people kept their noses out and stopped keep thinking they know better than me.
I hate my job. I feel that no-one trusts me to do what I'm meant to do. Everyone thinks events organisation and fundraising is so easy, anyone can do it. Well if thats the case you'll be just fine when I leave wont you? And I am leaving. I've been wanting to leave for a quite a while. I'm complelty undervalued as an employee and a person but I was being sensible and not leaving until I have a new job. But now I cant stand it. I think I'm going to hand my notice in this week. My family reckon I should milk them for whatever I can, go on sick leave or something. But as pissed off as and as badly as they've treated me they are still a charity and I couldnt do that. It would ultimatly damage the work we do with young people.
It really makes me feel so negative about myself and what I do though. Why doesnt anyone trust me? I wonder this frequently. Is it because I'm young? Because I didnt go to Uni? Because they think the subject matter doesnt need someone with expereience - anyone can do events/fundraising?
I try my hardest to remember that its probably not any of the above its that there are cerain people in my organisation that behave like children and this is part of the childish behaviour. But regardless I hate it.
Im not claiming to be an expert but I work hard at what I do and would like to think people would at least consult me rather than going off and doing their own thing and chucking it on me (wrong) later.
Argh I dont know. Fingers crossed my next job, wherever I go will value me for my work. Very much going to be a 2 way interview I think.
Picture of the day: