Tuesday, 24 July 2012


At the end of the day anyone can be fanciable. It can come down to the right outfit, makeup, posture, basic attitude but on the whole fairly surface level things.

Is this hot?
I dunno its what came up
when I Googled
"Attractive girl"
And sometimes fancying someone turns into something more. And that's awesome. But how often does that happen? REALLY? How much more often is it unrequited, or a quick crush, or a simple "he's kinda fit". Basic attraction isn't much more than chemicals and hormones after all.

But friendship - thats a whole other ball game. And nowhere near enough emphasis is placed on this.

True friendship is looking at another person and liking how they think, their sense of humour, their funny way they say things. It's getting into a heated debate but still respecting them afterwards, being driven damn crazy by something odd they do but then giggling like crazy at some in-joke. It's being able to talk until stupid o'clock and still having stuff to share the next day.

I suspect many people may say "But that's love! That's exactly what I see in my wife/girlfriend/husband/boyfriend!"

And THAT gentle reader is why the truest of loves are born out of friendships in my opinion. However don't be mistaken that every friendship means love. That's how to miss out on some of the best relationships you may ever have.

Don't ever underestimate being valued as a friend. Often there is much more value to be placed in that then there is in "you're so beautiful/sexy/cute".

But likewise don't bat friendship around too easily. It's an award all of its own. And Definitely don't ever offer it as a commiseration prize when love doesn't work out. Because if you were meant to be friends - you would be; either as partners who overcame difficulty, or as  actual friends because the relationship was never meant to happen or be on the cards. But if you can't make it work as partners that once loved each other, it is very unlikely you would then be able to be friends. And anyone who says otherwise is likely kidding themselves....or possibly were never more than friends to start off with? Who knows....

And so in a roundabout way, we come back to the age old question;

"Can a Man and Woman ever be friends?"

You tell me gentle reader.....you tell me....because I would love to hear your opinions.

1 comment:

  1. In my opinion- and this has always been my opinion- men and women can be friends BUT there is always an attraction there, somewhere down the line, from one person to another (or to each other). I don't think there is anything wrong with this (depending on the circumstances of course) as this is normal. As you rightly said, attraction is hormones and chemical reactions, and this is completely natural.

    I feel that friendship has always been key to my relationships. I realised (far too late) that my last long-term boyfriend was not also my best friend. How could this have worked out? I want my significant partner to be all those things to me- best friend, lover, the person I have in-jokes with, and probably the person who is able to drive me completely batty because they know me so well!

    Friendship is so important to me. I have many groups of friends, and they are ALL considered to be as close as family. So any man who I bring into my life needs to meet those expectations.


Let me know what you think of this ramble :)