Sunday, 16 October 2011

Not giving up

I'm not giving up on you. I'm not.

I don't mean "us" or our relationship. (Although I'd like to not give up on that either)  I mean YOU. 

I know you've treated me badly over the last few weeks. And although I recognize my part I've played in our relationship and how I've hurt you I'm not going to say you have an excuse for doing it.

But the fact that you did it. Continually, and swinging from one extreme to the next, one minute saying you dont want to lose me as a friend (and me believing that because I could hear it in your voice) to saying you dont want to talk to me (and your voice sounding completely different)  is what is making me realise - this is not you.

And I'm so scared for you. And I'm not going to be so arrogant as to think I can "fix" you, or make you realise anything. But I hope I can help in some way...If you'll let me.

Because I am not giving up faith in you. I've seen you, I know you, I know what your thinking and feeling, and I know this isn't right.

I just hope you can see it in yourself, remember who you are capable of being, and want to get back to that. And let me help you if I can.

I love you. That's not changing. Maybe things will never happen again between us. But I still love you. And I want to be your friend. And I want to help you.

But please...try and help yourself? You owe it to yourself.


  1. Hey sweety,

    Can I just say that I feel you are doing a good job handling all this? Trying to keep an objective view while still allowing yourself emotions.

    I don't know what's the best path for both or either of you, but I can clearly see who is ending up on the short end of this deal.

    I know the strangest things can keep hearts from joining and sometimes a heart is just not able to join completely, not in the now and myabe not ever. But if anything you've tried and you are still working for the best solution or maybe resolution for all.

    I wish you both luck and wisdom for the future.

  2. Thank you. I dont feel like I'm doing especially well, but as my manager said at lunchtime: "You got up this morning, got dressed and are at work so your doing better than you could be"

    I dont know the best path either. I wish I did. Maybe it'll get easier after the visit.


Let me know what you think of this ramble :)