50 shades of yadda yadda

Warning: Post contains spoilers

Did you know "50 shades of grey" was originally a Twilight fanfic called "Masters of the Universe". A few years ago, just after the Twilight hype, Twilight fan fics were storming the internet and boy did my Lexlings know how to find the best ones!  However I had already ploughed through Wide Awakes twice (still not reaching the end waiting for updates) and Clipped wings and Inked armour and I just couldn't be doing with another one - no matter how hot the BDSM scenes were meant to be.

And then it got published (I actually remember a couple of the Lexling's passing comment that she had found a publisher) and took women's lit by storm. I sat there adamantly refusing to be caught up in it. Until I was sat at Glasgow airport waiting for a flight and bought it on an impulse. 

I won't lie to you - I found it pretty hard to put down. Even as I was reading it and judging it harshly I just couldn't stop READING! What did they do, lace the pages with crack or something? 

So I finished the first one on a lazy Sunday morning and very nearly jumped on the bus down to the town to buy the next two! But that's where I made my stand - I refuse to give this woman any more money (£1million a week I read somewhere. Good grief who needs that kind of money!?) so I will wait patiently until I can borrow them from somewhere. Yes. Even when I walk into Sainsburys on a daily basis and there is a display selling them for £3 each. 

And here is why, and I can only apologise in advance. It is a bad book! It's bad. It's so badly written. It READS like a Twilight fanfic -woman did you pay an editor purely to change the names from Edward and Bella to Christian and Ana? You could've paid me for that. It's called "Ctrl + F" for f's sake! 

Talk about repetition. If I have to see the words "Bite that lip" "Inner Goddess" and the worst... "Down there" one more time I may kill someone. Again - its called a thesaurus - buy one!

Next topic: Unrealism. (Is that a word? It is now) Please ladies, tell me now:

a) How do you get to the age of 21 never having held hands or kissing a guy? Is there really ANYONE this innocent?
b) Yeah...that's what first times are like
c) Yeah....women come on demand all the time
d) Yeah.....when you were that innocent and inexperienced you get the most phenomenal orgasms all the time, every time, 3 times a day. 

Give me strength...

And I'm almost tempted to say "Don't get me started on the BDSM crap" But to be fair, it has got people - women - talking about their turn ons, fetishes, desires etc in a way that we probably never have before. You can start a discussion about it simply by saying "Have you read 50 shades - what did you think of the 'red room of pain'?" "Oh I like the idea of the blindfolds and cable ties - not so much the whips and suspension" or whatever. 

Talking is a good thing. We British can be far too repressed about sex and our fantasies and its time we started being a bit more open. Don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about orgies in the street here but a simple conversation about turn ons can go a long way for us all to have a bit more fun on a Friday night. (Or a Monday morning...or Thursday afternoon. Heck y'know what I mean!)

But this is my word of caution: Ladies WHY do you want a man like Christian Grey? The man's a complete twat. Does it come down to this love of bad boys and the convictions that we can change them? (As I'm sure will no doubt happen in book 3) Why do you want to change a man? There are so many nice ones - or at least not "50 shades of fucked up" ones - out there! The irony is beyond me. We spend all that energy as girls looking for "Prince Charming" only to grow up wishing he would drive off on a motorbike saying "Later's baby". 

Think about this - truly think about this for a moment - really analyse Christian Grey and tell me - if there was a man like that in your life would you not be telling him to shove it? No matter how "good looking" he supposedly is. I know I would be! 

My biggest bit of advice - find the nice normal guys who are willing to do a bit of Christian Grey role play. Best of both worlds without becoming a pathetic shell of a woman who only exists for her boyfriend like Bell...sorry "Ana". 

In searching for images to include on this blog post I came across this which I think perfectly sums up my point. I doth my cap to whoever wrote this! 

Friendship

At the end of the day anyone can be fanciable. It can come down to the right outfit, makeup, posture, basic attitude but on the whole fairly surface level things.

Is this hot?
I dunno its what came up
when I Googled
"Attractive girl"

And sometimes fancying someone turns into something more. And that's awesome. But how often does that happen? REALLY? How much more often is it unrequited, or a quick crush, or a simple "he's kinda fit". Basic attraction isn't much more than chemicals and hormones after all.

But friendship - thats a whole other ball game. And nowhere near enough emphasis is placed on this.

True friendship is looking at another person and liking how they think, their sense of humour, their funny way they say things. It's getting into a heated debate but still respecting them afterwards, being driven damn crazy by something odd they do but then giggling like crazy at some in-joke. It's being able to talk until stupid o'clock and still having stuff to share the next day.

I suspect many people may say "But that's love! That's exactly what I see in my wife/girlfriend/husband/boyfriend!"

And THAT gentle reader is why the truest of loves are born out of friendships in my opinion. However don't be mistaken that every friendship means love. That's how to miss out on some of the best relationships you may ever have.

Don't ever underestimate being valued as a friend. Often there is much more value to be placed in that then there is in "you're so beautiful/sexy/cute".

But likewise don't bat friendship around too easily. It's an award all of its own. And Definitely don't ever offer it as a commiseration prize when love doesn't work out. Because if you were meant to be friends - you would be; either as partners who overcame difficulty, or as  actual friends because the relationship was never meant to happen or be on the cards. But if you can't make it work as partners that once loved each other, it is very unlikely you would then be able to be friends. And anyone who says otherwise is likely kidding themselves....or possibly were never more than friends to start off with? Who knows....

And so in a roundabout way, we come back to the age old question;

"Can a Man and Woman ever be friends?"

You tell me gentle reader.....you tell me....because I would love to hear your opinions.

Blog Sale!

Inspired by seeing quite a few Blog sales lately, and recently having a bit of a clear out I thought it would be great to try and earn a little bit of extra cash through a Blog Sale.

I have made its own page on my blog just up there entitled "Online Garage Sale" - basically because Im going to leave it up until all/most things are sold.

Terms and conditions are stated but if you have any further questions please let me know or send me a quick email to sarahsrandomramblings@hotmail.co.uk - I'm always happy to hear from people!

Thanks for looking - hope you find something that catches your eye!

Blog sale just here :)

A few of the goodies available:

Realisations

For someone so smart man I can be so DUMB!

The irony? I knew this. I KNEW it! I really did. So why now? With barely a scraping of continued evidence does it hit home?

Maybe because I am actually ready to admit it to myself without having a breakdown? Because I'm finally feeling properly over it? (We as "over it" as one can realistically be in less than a year) Probably. Because that is no longer the front and foremost thing on my mind? Definitely. Thoughts of that and what was are actually pretty darn far from my mind most of the time, with new people and new interests taking up valuable leasings in my mind instead. 

And I could get angry all over again. Irrationally angry too, at those people, at myself, at my family or friends for not warning me? Yeah like I would've listened :) headstrong as ever - that's me! 

But instead this is when I need to let it go. Really and truly let it go. Not just say I have, not post movie lines or song lyrics, not say I will and then not. Just truly let it go. Take a deep breath, and relinquish all control. 

And learn. Grow and learn - as we must always continue to do in life. And move forward with as much positivity as I had to start off with. No. More. For dodging the bullet ;)

Because I am this crazy gal here in the video below. I know this because my Wise Owl told me so! (She knows...)

I take pride in knowing that I will Always be full of love, always seeing the best in people, always willing to try again and again - no matter what happens. Sure occasionally putting my foot in my mouth (I'm good at that!) but not blaming the past for anything happening in the present. 

And ultimately knowing no matter what that I am no-one's consolation prize, rebound or convenient second best. Ever.