The Orchard at Tesco

I've been doing a lot of work on my personal budget recently, and as part of that I was delighted to discover that Tesco has a programme for Clubcard holders where you can try some of their products for free or at a reduced price.

I signed up, and was really pleased to be invited to try a product for less really quickly.

I was sent some vouchers for money off their fresh fish. Me and Mat went along to Tesco to decide what to try for dinner and settled on some rainbow trout.

I love cooking fish, and always try and cook it simply to allow the natural flavours to come out. I cooked it under the grill with a brush of olive oil, a sprinkle of salt, pepper and parsley and then some lemon slices on top.

This gave it a delicious seasoned natural taste without being overpowering. Grilling is also super healthy for you!

I served it with some bread and butter and stirfried veg - baby corn, baby courgette and mange tout (all also from tesco). I fried the veg in a little bit of garlic butter.

Beautiful piece of fish with delicate flavours. Reminded us of salmon but with more of a white fish texture.

I really enjoy a meal when it is simple food done well, and we definitly got that from this rainbow trout.

Great quality and very reasonably priced (even more so when you can #tryitforless!), thanks Tesco - looking forward to enjoying some more fresh fish from your store soon.

I do find I sometimes get stuck in a rut with my cooking though. I posted this on my Facebook wall and asked friends how they cook fish. My friend in America suggested I use aluminum pouches.

How would you have cooked this fish? What should I try in the future? Let me know in the comments below!

On the #IceBucketChallenge

So as a fundraiser I couldn't not comment on this....phenomenon.

First of all I am still so amazed at the virality of this campaign. I have never seen something spread so fast and so BIG! I've never seen so many celebrities from all backgrounds and across the world get involved in something of this size for charity. Children in Need and Comic Relief pale in comparison. Yes of course they can't be seen to "not" do it and it's all positive publicity but still. I've never had my newsfeed so completely filled with friends and contacts doing the same thing for charity.

I am so impressed with the charity it started for and the UK equivalent. A relativity unknown condition now has more awareness (and funds!) than they could have ever hoped for. And all unsolicitied, unbudgeted and unrestricted. It's the fundraiser's dream!

The fact that it was started and then grew organically by supporters really makes me smile. As much as my profession depends on us fundraisers needing to continually come up with different ways to engage our supporters, this campaign, like the #nomakeupselfie before it is proof that you can't ever plan for the best ideas.

Now....on the numerous other charities that are now promoting #Icebucketchallenge. This is such an interesting one for me. On the one hand you can't consider yourself a fundraiser if you are not maximising all opportunities that are presented to you, and you also can't choose what your supporters will do in support of you. However there is something about it actively promoting it that slightly unsettles me. It just seems a little unethical....but I can't completely explain why.

Because having said that, no fundraising idea is brand new. No charity can claim to be the only one to fundraise from marathons, cake sales, bike rides or quiz nights. As long as there are supporters for your cause they will fundraise in the way that suits them.

What makes me really happy are the people that are choosing to do #Icebucketchallenge for a charity of their choice. And what makes me even happier than THAT is the people who have donated to ALS Association or MND Association, and then also to their chosen charity. Recognising where the challenge came from and not "hijacking" but still supporting your charity.

However, and please listen carefully, I have so say....if you are going to donate - must you also dump a bucket of water over your head? Yes yes I know that's the "challenge" but you're not raising sponsorship to do this are you? Heck we'd all be broke if we were all being asked to sponsor each other! So if you're going to make a donation....why not just do it? Especially now the campaign is reaching it's peak. Do you really need a reason to donate to charity, if you want to truly change lives and make a difference - then do it. If you also want to do the ice challenge great, but don't feel pressured to do it. You will make just as much of a difference by simply sending your donation. Take the wonderful Sir Patrick Stewart for example :)

Somehow I've managed to avoid being nominated yet (she says too soon) but if I am, I will proudly donate to MND and then to another charity of my choice. And I'll do it in additional to my monthly contributions and without wasting litres of water.

Donate to ALS Association here

Donate to MND Association here or text ICED55 £5 (or other amount) to 70070.

PS. Since writing this, I have seen some comments on social media that apparently the reason why ice water is because for a brief moment you have the same sensation as someone living with MND. *If* that is correct and is the reason behind the challenge...that is amazing. Very rarely do you find truly fantastic fundraising campaigns that also relate back to the cause in a very real way.

Maybe I will dump the ice....maybe.

PPS. One final note to the people on social media who continually feel the need to insult, criticise or retract their support of a charity when they find out we spend money on fundraising. It's investment. No responsible charity will waste money on fundraising or marketing. For every £1 we are spending on fundraising we are likely making back at least £3. It is our duty to our beneficiaries to invest a small percentage of our income today to ensure we continue to have income tomorrow to help those who rely on us.

And on the subject of charities paying for Google advertising - most charities spend very little on this. Google offers a grant to most charities to allow them to target their advertising. And I promise you, it's still significantly more cost-effective and offers a higher return than taking out ads in the papers.

Just so ya know because all of this is one of my biggest bug-bears as a professional fundrasier! 

On positivity

Often we go looking for inspiration, sometimes inspiration finds us from unexpected places and occasionally, just occasionally -we are fortunate enough to inspire ourselves.

I’m not going to lie, work has been tough lately. Not in any way I couldn’t cope with but very busy and occasionally stressful. And then on Friday I got some very bad work related news. A huge funding bid that I had slaved over, that I had co-ordinated a shed ton of work for, that a decent chunk of our income hinged on…was unsuccessful. We were gobsmacked, of course nothing is ever certain but we all felt pretty confident about this bid. A lot of people had a put a lot of hard work in and in all honesty, we hadn’t really imagined not getting it.

It didn’t hit me too hard at first. But what did hit me – in a very positive way – was the response of my colleagues. I had nothing but supportiveness and kindness. And that was humbling.

I don’t think I deal with anything in a “standard” way – it’s purely dependent on the circumstances. But the way I handled this on Friday was by trying not to take it too personally. And to know that I couldn’t change it, couldn’t even learn from it until we receive feedback in a week and so all I could do is take the best I could and focus on the small sliver of silver linings.

So I had the weekend to process it and began to worry slightly and then reminded myself that I couldn't change it, would learn from it in time – and to keep thinking about how to move forward.

This morning a colleague that wasn’t in on Friday expressed how sorry she was that we didn’t get the funding. Another colleague – someone brand new who also joined me in the pub on Friday, very sweetly said “you handled it brilliantly” as he walked past and overheard our conversation.  And that made me smile again.

This evening I stumbled across this old blog post.  I remembered writing it but barely remembered coming out with such little pearls of wisdom to myself. And I was struck with a brief moment of overwhelming inspiration. I saw the word ‘positivity’ and the neurones in my brain instantly flashed up the comment from my colleague this morning. And it got me thinking…

I am inherently a positive person. Even when dealing with sometimes frankly crap situations, I still try and bring myself back to that positive place. Because it is who I am. And to be honest that makes me so proud. And connecting that blog post with this current work situation reminded me why I am the type of fundraiser I am. And more so than that reminded me of one of the often forgotten reasons as to why I am SO proud to be a fundraiser.

And finally seeing Sid’s comments on my old blog post made me smile and remind myself not to lose that girl who wrote that blog post. Thanks Sid!

"Seriously though, you inspire me in many ways, I look up to you for your guts and you strength and hope to someday achieve that aura of positive energy you have around you. You manage to pull of that positive vibe without hitting on that religious cult like ‘Bright and shiny’ thing."

New job, new happies

Yes yes yes.....bad blogger. I know I know...

But I feel I have a very valid excuse. My new job has kept me crazy busy in the very best kind of way, and even though this means I get home in the evenings knackered it's the very best kind of "Yay I worked hard and am having fun at the same time" knackered.

So as it is the main thing occupying my life at the moment, here are a few things that I am loving about my new Managerial role.

1) I'm a Manager! I wanted to be a manager for so long, I've been so fortunate to learn from some amazing people in my sector and I've always wanted to the opportunity to push myself to that level. So now I'm here it's a little scary at times, but at the same time feels awesome!

2) My colleagues are amazing. Everyone in this office is so friendly, there is a great level of fun banter and giggles without any bitchiness or nastiness. My team are especially lovely, I felt settled and part of the team almost immediately.

3) I'm back in central London! Working out in deepest Essex with nothing but a Sainsburys, greasy spoon cafe and 10 dozen chicken shops was quite depressing. Now I have history, modern architecture, great food and more Starbucks's than I can count within spitting distance from my office. Only downside is keeping that bank balance in check!

4) We're social. We have cake for birthdays, leaving drinks, even a mini-"goodbye" and congratualtions before my manager went off to get married. It just makes the office a really nice place to work and somewhere you want to come to.

5) Softball! I have been in the charity sector for 7 years and never worked somewhere with a team in the league. We just joined this year and even though we got flattened by the most notorious team in the league in our first game, I still can't wait for the rest.

6) I get to see Mat dressed as a peapod (or possibly the goat in the future!) at events.....that ones totally self explanatory surely? :)

Little life-y update

The lovely Bryan Gallagher mentioned I have not done a blog post for a while and he was hankering for an update. As such this post is dedicated to him less I incur the wrath of an ice-hockey player!

So...I feel like I have both been insanely busy but also not done "much" to report on lately. So here is a brief run down of things that have been happening in my world since the beginning of the year.

Babies babies babies! 

Everyone seems to have had a baby or be growing one as I speak! I am so proud and happy for every wonderful new parent I know right now (especially you McMuppetts as this post is dedicated to you guys!) The more I watch my friends blossom into these amazing care givers the more I amazed I am. You know that episode of How I met your Mother? "I can't believe that girls a Mum?!" - kinda like that. I think of all the random times and adventures we have and now they are responsible for this little human life. And that is phenomenal! The more I see it the more I know I'm not even close to there yet. But it means I have tons of love and affection (and gift buying) to spoil all the new little ones with. Aunty Sarah is well and truly here! 

Scotland

I planned a surprise trip to Edinburgh for much Whisky tasting for Mat's big 3-0. I figured "If you're nervous about turning 30, just drink your way through it!" Seriously though, it was a lovely trip and I think he really enjoyed it. Found some new favourite whiskies too which is always a good thing. 

By the way, if you are ever in Edinburgh, I cannot recommend The Whisky Trail shop on the Royal Mile highly enough. Although a little pricier than some of the other shops we went into, there is a man in there called Jaime who is a complete expert! We got talking to him for a good half hour, and would've stayed longer if we didn't have to catch our plane home. I even managed to wangle Mat a 'wee dram' of a whisky as old (gets given filthy look) *ahem* young as he is. A bottle that had we bought the full bottle would have set us back about a months rent! 

Mum's graduation

My Mummy graduated from Canterbury Christchurch University with a 2.1 in Childhood Studies. I went along to her graduation with her and I was immensely proud of her. Although she didn't really take it seriously and ran around doing Batman impressions in her gown. Proof is any was ever needed that we only grow up if we stop having fun with life! 

Job stuffs

My manager left last month (cry and sob) and it has not been the easiest few weeks. However there are some potentially exciting things on the horizon and I will update on those as and when there are things to say. In the meantime keep your fingers crossed for me please!

And that's about it really. Elsewhere there has been the usual hanging with friends, watching the 'Friends' white boxset (extras and outtakes oh my!) and slowly making my way through Game of Thrones. Slowly as in I dont have much time to read. When I actually sit down for a few hours with it I absolutely plough through. Which is what I think I will be doing for a few blissfully relaxing hours this afternoon. 

Hope everyone had a lovely Valentines Day doing whatever you were doing, and wishing you all a happy weekend!

A very crafty Christmas

Like most of the Western World seems to now be (and as I have mentioned *ahem* once or twice) I am addicted to Pinterest. This year at Christmas it has given me quite a lot of inspiration to make a lot of gifts for people.

As I am not generally a very crafty person, I decided to share my creations with my lovely readers. Especially as they had lovely reactions too!

Cellophane, curling ribbon and LOTS of sellotape were definitely my friends, and I got quite skilled at wrapping up pretty much anything in a pretty way - presentation really is everything.

Personalised mugs
These were very nearly a Pinterest fail. Apparently...no...sharpie designs on porelain baked at 300C for 35 minutes is RUBBISH! However do that 3 times and then swear a lot as the designs rub off with your thumb and then bake the crap out of the mug at about 400C for an hour DOES work better. I did tell these stories when I gave them to the recipients and advised they are not washed up and perhaps used for ornamental purposes.

None-the-less, the boy and the best mate both loved their personalised mugs. I have a great photo of Marsha screaming "PIVOT!" as she opened it, but as she is in her PJs I'm not sure if she'll appreciate me sharing it ;)

The boys is Game of Thrones themed and says "Winter is Coming" then in smaller writing "Drink Toffee Nut lattes" (his fav winter drink) - and it came with a bottle of Toffee Nut syrup and chocolates.

Finally both of my gift receivers didn't realise I'd made them at first which made me doubly proud!

Date Jar

My sister and her fiance are both money and time poor and don't get the opportunity for many dates. I think sometimes a little creativity is all that's needed but when you a million other things on your mind its very easy for those to fall by the way-side. So I gave them a bit of a helping hand.

I had great fun thinking of nice dates I've had, unique places I've been in London and when all else failed - Googling! I split the lollipop sticks into categories so they can choose easily depending on their budget. I made sure there were lots of "Free" and split that into "Free - Romantic" and "Free - fun"

A few of my ideas included:

• Go to the park and play on the swings
• Edit photos of each other
• Stay up all night and watch the sunrise
• Go on a daytrip to France
• Play hide and seek...in Tesco!

I didn't get any great photos when it was finished but I made a label that I glued on the side and top detailing the colour categories  and I also include a photo album. I personalised the inside telling them both to "Make lots of memories together". It was a lovely album where you can write a few lines next to each photo.

On the same theme I also made a "dates with baby" jar for a certain amazing McMuppett who is soon expecting. I really hope it arrives in the States before she reads this ;) Instead of using lollypop sticks I used wooden hearts from Hobbycraft.

Re-creating old photos
I think this was the gift I was most proud of. It was a joint effort with my sister after I had seen a much "simpler" version on Pinterest where someone had just recreated one photo.

In our family there are a lot of "iconic" photos of me and my sister - generally in very silly outfits  We spent an entire day recreating these, and framed them along with the originals. We were really pleased with how they came out in the end - especially with all the effort we put in with finding similar outfits and getting the locations as close as possible.

Although shorts in the garden on the coldest day of the year was not the most fun we've ever had!

I think the best bit of this though was our Mums reaction when she opened it. We pondered for quite a while on the best way to present it, before settling on pre-hanging them for her and "wrapping" the wall.

However we took it one step further. We figured out the placement and banged in all the nails whilst she was out. Then we took everything down again and waited until she had gone to bed on Christmas Eve before hanging and "wrapping" them.

It was the last gift opened on Christmas morning and I really wished I had videoed her reaction. It was priceless - I have never seen my Mum get this emotional over anything! She squealed, clapped her hands jumping up and down...and then burst into tears.

Seriously if you need an idea for a Christmas gift - do this! Parents, grandparents, Aunties, cousins - anyone in the family who loves photos.

We also got a "nice" one as we were in matching outfits (something we haven't done since we were very young!) However the one we were most happy with was us literally under the tree. We then customised a simple wooden frame with Christmas crafty bits and are really happy with it. - Sort of an alpine lodgey feel.

We hope this will become a permanent Christmas decoration in our home now.

Movie boxes

Way back in the summer I saw these adorable plastic popcorn holders, and as I had recently picked up a massive box of proper American microwave popcorn I knew I could make great gifts from those. Sadly they were just SLIGHTLY too narrow to fit a DVD in them but with my cellophane magic-ness I think it worked out pretty nicely. I didnt pack the entire thing with sweets and chocolates, but instead padded the bottom with balled up paper so I could then arrange the top with sweety goodness.

This photo is for a certain second McMuppett and was meant to be given during our pre-Christmas meet up but sadly she was struck down with lurgy. Get better soon Becca and this will be waiting for you when I see you next!

Cellophane gift sets

I bought a couple of little bottles of whisky for the boy and wanted a creative way to present them. In addition I bought a couple of the discounted Soap and Glory mega gift sets (Thank you Martin Lewis!) and then split them up into smaller personalised gifts. I was tres pleased with this super thrifty gift ideas and I still have lots of bits stashed away for future gifts or maybe even a blog giveaway.

Inexpensive cellophane and pretty curling ribbon and the gifts are good to go!



Overall I just love how thrifty, crafy and personal I have been with my gift giving this year. Sure there were also DVD's and various other "normal" gifts but I think these were the best ones to give and receive.

And it seemed I wasn't the only one getting creative. My Mum MADE - yes MADE me this amazing Friends photo frame! Unfortunately as my front door is plastic coated I can't hang it there as in the show, instead it will get pride of place on either my front room or bedroom door.

My sister gave me a very personal gift that is kind of long winded to explain, but it basically marks my (now non-existent) room at my Mums and had a lovely poem along with it too.

Marsha (my Wife for all intents and purposes except legally. Does anyone else have this with their best mates? Eh we're weird and we love it - role with it!) had an "engagement ring" commissioned for me from my uber talented sister! Except I had no idea about this on Christmas day and it was a lovely 'Christmas magic' present.

Our long term family friends the Lawrences made me a lovely gift basket of scrummy sauces and dips. It was really personal and I'm loving trying all the different flavours. Especially the balsamic vinegar which I had tonight and could plough through very easily! (I didn't get a photo before I started trying them all)

And even the boy got creative with this amazing gift for his sister - framed prints of her favourite bands album covers. I thought that was a lovely idea and I hear she was very happy with them.

If you would like to make homemade gifts for your loved ones, my best advice is to start planning now. A few of my friends said they ran out of time to get supplies and literally to sit down and put gifts together. I was planning most of mine from the Summer. It does take some time but it is so worth it!

Also don't put too much pressure on yourself. I had originally planned to sit down on one day and make everything at once, but I actually found myself making a couple of things each evening in front of the telly. Very relaxing and enjoyable.

Did you get or give anything homemade for Christmas? Planning on anything crafty for upcoming Birthdays, Valentines Day or next year?

Leave me a comment, tweet me or pin any of the images from this post :)

Tweet to @smiley_sarah

Christmas....do do do do do

I have always loved Christmas. Loved loved LOVED it! Although over the last few years I have to say I have felt decidingly too "grown up" for it, and there was a little less magic about it. Especially last year where after putting up all my decorations I sat down on my couch and cried realising just how lonely it was to be completely alone at that time of year.

But this year my whole mindset is completely different. No matter what anyone throws at me I will be continuing to smile and look for the love and magic in this season.

Christmas also started early for me this year! I don't normally start thinking about it until the second weekend of December, but this year I decided to put them up on the 2nd. And it really was a magical day. I had a very helpful Elf lending a hand, making me smile all day as he also took great delight in the decorations, music and mulled cider we had brewing all day. (My GAWD did the house smell good!)

So here are a few of my Christmassy photos, including some arty (and slightly hipsterish) Instagram photos of a few decorations.

Seen on Pinterest...



My recreations....

I made those lyric printables and you can find them on my Pinterest. If you use them please send me a photo - I'd love to see them in use elsewhere! :)

The Christmas Song printable
White Christmas printable
I didn't draw the image but it is here



Decorations!

These are all from America. HoHoHo ws sent to me by my awesome McMegs 2 Christmas's ago in a Lexling care package. The other three are all from New York and I love them so much. My helpful Elf especially loved the Polar Bear (we share an obsession with New York and a love of the Central Park Zoo Polar Bear!) 

Christmas Kitties (who have so far not caused too much dama...typed too soon. Jack is gnawing on the tree as I type. *le sigh*)

Tree and part of the very cosy living room.

That "Happy Christmas" train has been in my family I think before I was born. I love it so much, because it's old and a tradition, My Mum hated it though which worked out pretty sweet for me because it meant I took ownership when I moved out!

Christmas top tip
See those lights across the fireplace thingy? Battery operated. I have another set across the arch in the hallway, and more in the windows. I cannot advocate battery lights enough. They dont run up the electricity bill, safe enough to leave on all day, and versatile enough to put everywhere. If you havn't already buy some, buy some now! (I got mine from www.dotcomgiftshop.com - in case you were wondering)

Christmas movies
Yes that IS Muppet Christmas Carol on my TV. Perfect night time film after all the hard work decorating.

Merry Christmas everybody! 

Thank You

Just a brief post, just a quick one to say a massive Thank You.

Thank You to the Universe, to whatever it is that led to this. To all the things that were hard to understand at the time that meant I'm now right here, feeling his happy, excited and content.

I think it's important to show our gratitude. So this is me, putting a little gratefulness into the Universe.

Comic-con!

I've always been a bit of a Geek. Whether you choose geek to be defined as that brainy kid who annoyingly ALWAYS had the answer at school, or someone who is just a tad too OCD about organising, or simply someone who becomes hugely enthusiastic about a hobby or interest - that's me.

So you tell me how I had never managed to go to Comic-con or similar over the last few years? I don't know....it's beyond my comprehension too! 

But this year was different. I went and it was AWESOME! Anyone who knows me knows I love dressing up and it was a tough call deciding who to be. In the end budget and time meant I had to utilise whatever I already had, perhaps plus a couple extras, which resulted in my uber-cool (though not especially feminine) Marty McFly cosplay! 

I have to say though, when I saw all the different ladies in varying degrees of sexiness I did begin to regret not going for a more attractive costume, but *meh* such is life! 

I wish I could begin to comment on the amazing things that I saw. Marsha screaming, crying and running from a cyberman (when she didn't even know what one was) was pretty memorable, meeting 3 Doctors and Captain Jack who all looked like their characters was VERY VERY cool, and seeing a woman dressed as Jareth has made me torn between being Sarah or Jareth! 

  

For me the most amazing part of the whole event was this complete feeling of "together-ness". Ok that sounds very corny I know, but it's true. Everyone was admiring each others costumes, taking pictures together, laughing and joking and playing games. Despite the vast number of people, and often long ques I didn't see anyone getting bitchy or angry. No-one was arguing - everyone was just there to have a good time. And more so - making sure each other had a good time. 

I really don't think there are many sub-cultures or large events that can say the same. When was the last time you felt that same atmosphere at a football game or concert. Heck when was the last time you got on the tube without wanting to kill someone? Because even crammed onto the DLR, freezing on the platforms (a lot of cosplay costumes are not noted for their warmth) or desperatly wanting to find a sandwich - everyone was just so chilled out. Excitable, hyper, in full character mode or geeking out at something awesome - but chill all the same. And that made me very happy. 

Now I can't WAIT for the Sci-Fi weekender in March. It's going to be an amazing weekend! 

Loves of late

This is a tag by the lovely Louise at Sprinkle of Glitter and I think it is a great one. We spend far too much of  our lives moaning and griping and it can do us all the well of good to stop for a moment and think....really think about the things we love, the things we can be grateful for, and the things that just make us smile.

So here is a brief run down of things making me happy, and things that I am currently loving.

My Friends
I've said it before, I'll say it again, and I'll say it a million more times. I love my friends. They are one of my greatest blessings in life. I am especially luck to have so many, so many different groups of people I've met throughout my life that all have a very special place in my heart. I honestly don't know what I would do without all of my special ladies and the evenings spent giggling, drinking wine and coming out with some of the most random one-liners I am often convinced that I am living my life in a sitcom!

Hazelnut Mochas
I have always loved these, and always will. Starbucks you are my sanity and my craving all at once for making a drink so deliciously amazing! Although I have to say I can't wait for the red cups to arrive and gingerbread and peppermint lattes and mochas to be drunk in the countdown to Christmas!

Geeking out
I love geeking out about the things that I love. I love being just on the right side of obsessive and I will watch a TV series or movie over and over, re-read books and buy the t-shirts to match! Current re-geekings are: Back to the Future and Friends.

Game of Thrones
First of all - see above. I was introduced to the world of the 7 kingdoms this weekend and I have to say I'm already a little obsessed. Must. Watch. More!

What things do you love? What is making you happy at the moment?

What a year!

Wow. A year, a full year since it all happened. And WHAT a year its been.

When I think back to where I was this time last year. It's so weird. But you wanna' know something? It has been one of the best years of my life!

So different from the last time I was properly single. Back then I was figuring out me, doing a lot of thinking, growing up, learning. This time I just AM being me!

I have never felt more comfortable in my own skin, more independent, more confident than I have over the last 12 months. I've totally adapted an attitude of "This is me, I will do whatever I can for you, but I'm not changing for no-one" and I think it has served me well.

This year I wish I had kept track of the amount of people that commented on my strength of character. Now in the grand scheme of life, I have not had to cope with a huge amount. I see men and women more courageous than I can put into words at work every day, and I wouldn't dare compare myself to them. However I have had to be brave. And I've had to be tough. And I am proud with how I have coped. Because I didn't "cope" - I dealt with it. I spent a lot of time thinking, feeling, allowing myself to feel a very wide spectrum of emotions and that helped - it truly did. At no point did I feel ashamed of how I was feeling. When I felt the need to blow off steam and party with the girls - I did, and likewise when I needed to crawl into bed and cry for a few hours I did that too. Dealing with my emotions head on is not something I've always been great at, and I'm actually kinda proud of myself for doing it.

I've accomplished some amazing things this year too. From the mundane "every day" tasks like simply getting out of bed on some days, to the life changing experiences. I've lived alone - made a home for myself, I'm looking after two furry creatures, I've dealt with a load of crap at work and then pulled off some of the best events ever. I've made some amazing new friends, travelled back to America and even jumped out of a plane!

But most importantly, I've done them all by myself. I mean obviously I have friends and family around me. To be honest I would not have got through this last year without them. They have been my constants, my rocks and my saviours. But I have made the decisions and choices myself. Without having to consult or answer or explain to anyone. And because of that is why I've felt so happy. I'm independent and I'm strong and I'm ME!

I think its had a positive effect. I've done more flirting and been on more dates this past year than possibly in my whole life. Because I suddenly don't care any more. Not in that way....all I mean is I'm happy to have fun and a giggle without stressing out about "does he like me?" "what does this mean?" blah blah blah. I've just been me and it seems to have made me more attractive  Or at least more approachable - who knows? All I know is its been fun and I think my confidence has been a large part of it.

I've met up with old friends that I haven't seen properly in years and made some amazing memories! I've made new friends - people I would be so sad to loose from my life, but who probably wouldn't have come into it in the first place if this hadn't have happened.

When I think of where I could have been right now. Where my life could have been leading....jeez I shudder. I know that sounds awful and actually makes me a bit of a bitch, but when my friends look at me and tell me "you got a lucky break getting out of that one" - I have to agree with them. That in itself makes me a little sad, it would be nice to be able to look back with a bittersweet smile and think "It was a nice time and its a shame it ended" but that's not how it was allowed to end and so my memories of everything is now tainted. Meh - cest la vie!

The SATC theory holds true. It takes half the amount of time to heal yourself. 1 year on, I'm feeling pretty chipper. And really excited about what might be happening next actually ;) It's taken me a year to get to that stage and maybe its partly the situation and the people involved and maybe partly the timing but either way it looks to be working out pretty nicely.

Remember. Things fall apart so better things can fall together. Everything happens for a reason. And only you can decide how to deal with the curve balls life throws at you so make good choices.

 

Can you tell I've been a *little bit* addicted to Pinterest this year? Feel free to follow me on there!

PS. I would like to say a special thank you to all of my loved ones who have got me through this year. You did it, I have never felt more loved and cared for in my life than I have these 12 months. But in particular I want to thank Megs and Bryan. You guys where there for me literally as it happened. In the middle of planning the happiest day of your life - you looked after me. I know you might not think you did much, but in one short week you helped me break down, begin to heal and have my faith in love continued. I can never thank you both enough. You inspire me every day both individually and as a couple. I love you both to pieces and I don't think I could be writing this with such honesty if it wasn't for you. Thank You.