On positivity

Often we go looking for inspiration, sometimes inspiration finds us from unexpected places and occasionally, just occasionally -we are fortunate enough to inspire ourselves.

I’m not going to lie, work has been tough lately. Not in any way I couldn’t cope with but very busy and occasionally stressful. And then on Friday I got some very bad work related news. A huge funding bid that I had slaved over, that I had co-ordinated a shed ton of work for, that a decent chunk of our income hinged on…was unsuccessful. We were gobsmacked, of course nothing is ever certain but we all felt pretty confident about this bid. A lot of people had a put a lot of hard work in and in all honesty, we hadn’t really imagined not getting it.

It didn’t hit me too hard at first. But what did hit me – in a very positive way – was the response of my colleagues. I had nothing but supportiveness and kindness. And that was humbling.

I don’t think I deal with anything in a “standard” way – it’s purely dependent on the circumstances. But the way I handled this on Friday was by trying not to take it too personally. And to know that I couldn’t change it, couldn’t even learn from it until we receive feedback in a week and so all I could do is take the best I could and focus on the small sliver of silver linings.

So I had the weekend to process it and began to worry slightly and then reminded myself that I couldn't change it, would learn from it in time – and to keep thinking about how to move forward.

This morning a colleague that wasn’t in on Friday expressed how sorry she was that we didn’t get the funding. Another colleague – someone brand new who also joined me in the pub on Friday, very sweetly said “you handled it brilliantly” as he walked past and overheard our conversation.  And that made me smile again.

This evening I stumbled across this old blog post.  I remembered writing it but barely remembered coming out with such little pearls of wisdom to myself. And I was struck with a brief moment of overwhelming inspiration. I saw the word ‘positivity’ and the neurones in my brain instantly flashed up the comment from my colleague this morning. And it got me thinking…

I am inherently a positive person. Even when dealing with sometimes frankly crap situations, I still try and bring myself back to that positive place. Because it is who I am. And to be honest that makes me so proud. And connecting that blog post with this current work situation reminded me why I am the type of fundraiser I am. And more so than that reminded me of one of the often forgotten reasons as to why I am SO proud to be a fundraiser.

And finally seeing Sid’s comments on my old blog post made me smile and remind myself not to lose that girl who wrote that blog post. Thanks Sid!

"Seriously though, you inspire me in many ways, I look up to you for your guts and you strength and hope to someday achieve that aura of positive energy you have around you. You manage to pull of that positive vibe without hitting on that religious cult like ‘Bright and shiny’ thing."