Day 11 – My siblings

I have just the one Sibling. My lil Sister, Jessica. She just turned 18. I can still hardly believe it!

I look at photos of us when we were tiny and remember things like they happened yesterday.

I remember I was so excited to be the big sister. I wanted nothing more than to look after her, be her best friend and we'd always be there for each other.

Wasn't always quite the way it worked out. I got the feeling I wasn't quite trusted with her. The first time I got to hold her I had to be way back on the couch absolutely surrounded by pillows.

I don't know if we quite have that "best friend" relationship...although as I said a few posts back I don't really believe in the "best friends" thing anymore - since I grew up!

I do wish we were closer. I mean don't get me wrong, we have our moments. They just seem to be fewer and far between these days. We spend more time bickering and winding each other up than we do anything else.

I guess we've always just been in slightly different stages. As she got old enough to start playing with toys I was into complex make believe games. As she got into those, I started being more into pop music. As she got into that, I was a fully fledged teenager with the attitude to go with it. Then just as she started learning about boys and stuff I was a "grown up". I guess I thought that once we were both "adults" we'd get closer. Now at 23 and her at 18 I look back and realise how much I changed and learnt in the last 5 years (probably more than I did in the first 18!) and think maybe we still have a little way  to go for that theory to work.

Maybe once we're not under the same roof, driving each other crazy every second of the day it'll be better. We'll have real quality time. I hope so because in the good moments I know that I love my sister quite possibly more than anything on the planet. he's my baby sister. And if you think I'm defensive over my friends you wait until you see my reaction if someone hurts her.

Of course that can lead to over defensiveness sometimes and sticking my nose in where its not wanted (even if it is a case of "older sister knows best") But then the best way to learn is to learn the lessons for ourselves so I know I need to back out unless I'm asked for...as hard as that is sometimes, because my sister - like me - is not one to ask for help. (When it comes to the big stuff anyway)

Maybe we'll always be in slightly different life stages, never entirely on the same page. But we still have lots to offer each other. My sister can come out with some of the smartest things I've ever heard. Which is what cracks me up so much when she also comes out with some of the daftest! ("Your too purple")

I know this much though. However defensive I am of her, she is equally so of me, and to be honest - I'd be more scared of her. Whilst I go in all guns blazing, where at least you know what you'll be getting (a good punch in the face and knee to the groin in the least!) ,she's quieter, bides her time and you never quite know what shes up to!

And on that sinister note let me leave you with one of my fondest memories of us when we were little.

I was about 8 or 9 so she was about 3 or 4. I'd done some small thing to warrant my dad "punishing" me by taking my favourite toy and putting it way up high on a cabinet.

My tiny little sister tried to climb up to get it down for me, knowing that she'd get in worse trouble (and also not being anywhere close to reaching it bless her!) because she could see how upset I was. That always stayed with me - like little things like that that do.