It hurts that we lost, what I thought were such strong friendships.
It hurts that they didn't fight for me, or seem to care that I was gone from their lives.
It hurts that I wasn't there to celebrate with them on the happiest days of their lives.
I want so bad to get in touch again...but I can only fight so hard for people that wouldn't fight for me. I'm sure they see it differently, but that's my truth, and you can either choose to believe it or disregard it.
It seems that I was so easily replaced. But I haven't yet worked out by who.
It hurts that one of them should be my best friend no matter what.
But it hurts most that she has't even heard my side of it yet. That she doesn't seem to care either.
The one person who should hear out my side, but actually should be on my side regardless.
She spends more time with them than she does with me.
The memories and lost friends I can get over. Because times change and things move on.
But what should be an unshakeable relationship that seems to be lost by the day....that's what really hurts.
Showing posts with label girlies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label girlies. Show all posts
Tuesday, 15 May 2012
Saturday, 29 January 2011
I'm proud of my girls!
I just wanted to give a really big shout out to two of the bravest women I know.
First of all - my very good friend Lorna. She recently gave birth to her son, close to 3 months prematurley. I can only imagine how hard that must be on her and her partner and their families.
And although I havnt spoken to her other than briefly on Facebook (damn these time differences...hello - transporters already please?!) both her and the baby are doing very well.
I am SO proud of her and for the strength she has. And I'm proud of that little one too! Just like he's mum and dad he is extremley strong. I can only ask that you might spare a small thought/prayer/good will into the universe that he keeps doing well, gaining weight, and making each and every day a magical one for his parents.
And whilst we're on the subject of women that I'm proud of I dont want to forget Karen. One of my oldest and dearest friends, who went through hell and high water with her twins (also born prematurley). You almost wouldnt know it to see the two of them now. They'll be 3 in April and are two of the most adorable, intelligent and loving kids I have ever met. If your one for prayers and positivity and also feeling generous with them and its not too much to ask - you might spare them one too?
Its hard to believe that a few short years ago (ahem - at least 8) me and the girls were all getting drunk and giggling about boys and now we're all making major life choices. And especially for two of the most wonderful girls I know, who are now two of the very best mums that I know.
Karen and Lorna, I'm proud to call you my friends. You are amazing.
(Apologies girls - especially you Prabz - I know your gonna hate me for this...but tough!)
My SUPERgirls! :D
First of all - my very good friend Lorna. She recently gave birth to her son, close to 3 months prematurley. I can only imagine how hard that must be on her and her partner and their families.
And although I havnt spoken to her other than briefly on Facebook (damn these time differences...hello - transporters already please?!) both her and the baby are doing very well.
I am SO proud of her and for the strength she has. And I'm proud of that little one too! Just like he's mum and dad he is extremley strong. I can only ask that you might spare a small thought/prayer/good will into the universe that he keeps doing well, gaining weight, and making each and every day a magical one for his parents.
And whilst we're on the subject of women that I'm proud of I dont want to forget Karen. One of my oldest and dearest friends, who went through hell and high water with her twins (also born prematurley). You almost wouldnt know it to see the two of them now. They'll be 3 in April and are two of the most adorable, intelligent and loving kids I have ever met. If your one for prayers and positivity and also feeling generous with them and its not too much to ask - you might spare them one too?
Its hard to believe that a few short years ago (ahem - at least 8) me and the girls were all getting drunk and giggling about boys and now we're all making major life choices. And especially for two of the most wonderful girls I know, who are now two of the very best mums that I know.
Karen and Lorna, I'm proud to call you my friends. You are amazing.
(Apologies girls - especially you Prabz - I know your gonna hate me for this...but tough!)
My SUPERgirls! :D
PS: I dont think any of the girls really read my blog. But I wanted this positivty and love for them to be sent out into the Universe via Cyberspace. I love you girls!
Wednesday, 24 November 2010
Girl time
So Saturday was Duvet Day with Marsha and Eni. It was awesome fun, we stuck on some Disney movies, ate lots of junk food, painted our nails. Generally had a 13 year old slumber party in the day! :D
It was really great, and definitly much needed all round from hard work and general lack of girl time.
And it got me thinking. No matter how old we get girls NEED their girls! I think what we dont realise though is that the dynamic changes.
Its no longer about meeting up every single day, shopping all day saturday and spending all of Sunday on the phone. Its much more focussed on the quality time. Setting tmie out of the hectic work schedule, family commitments etc and just enjoy spending time hanging out.
The subject matter for discussions may change, there may be a bottle of wine instead of a bottle of Dr Pepper but the need to gossip and giggle will always remain!
It also changes in terms of who your friends are I think, moving on a little bit, the following observations stem from discussions us three had whilst setting the worlds to rights :)
As teenagers, girls tend to have their close tight knit band of friends, the ones that everything is shared with and....more often than not...where all manner of stress arrises.
"Oh my god?! HOW could she do that?!"
"WHY did she tell you and not me?!"
"I'm not friends with so and so and I'm going to be really upset if you get coffee with her next weekend!"
etcetcetcdramadramadrama
As adults we begin to realise "Hey...this is MY life! I'm old enough (and ugly enough) to make my own desicions, learn from my mistakes and generally get on with it without it being up for a group debate"
We will ask for advice and support when its needed but it wont necessarily be a round robin free for all discussion. And our friends need to not be upset when we choose not to take their advice.
Its like at the end of Friends when they find out Monica and Chandler are moving and Joey says "Arnt we supposed to vote on things like this!?" ...No, because your an adult and whislt friends can and often are the most important thing in your life..they are not the ONLY thing.
I've also personally found that the "growing up" period affects us all differently. We learn different life lessons at different paces. We change and learn about ourselves at differnet times. We make differnet choices that changes our viewpoints. And this can lead to stresses because we're all going through differnet changes....not like puberty when the problems (dispite feeling like we're the only one they affect) are all fairly similar.
The problems arise when it becomes difficult to see where the changes have emerged and not always accept that these might be for the better. Or when you can see changes in yourself but not in others.
Eni had a brilliant quote (paraphrased due to my rubbish memory!) "Being an adult is when you can be happy for your friends, even if it might upset you that things are changing"
For me the best example of that is my friends I went to infant and primary school. We drifted as a group after school but the key thing that brought us all back together was when Karen had the twins.
Friendships are ever changing things and that makes them hard. Sometimes everything happens for a reason though.
It was really great, and definitly much needed all round from hard work and general lack of girl time.
And it got me thinking. No matter how old we get girls NEED their girls! I think what we dont realise though is that the dynamic changes.
Its no longer about meeting up every single day, shopping all day saturday and spending all of Sunday on the phone. Its much more focussed on the quality time. Setting tmie out of the hectic work schedule, family commitments etc and just enjoy spending time hanging out.
The subject matter for discussions may change, there may be a bottle of wine instead of a bottle of Dr Pepper but the need to gossip and giggle will always remain!
It also changes in terms of who your friends are I think, moving on a little bit, the following observations stem from discussions us three had whilst setting the worlds to rights :)
As teenagers, girls tend to have their close tight knit band of friends, the ones that everything is shared with and....more often than not...where all manner of stress arrises.
"Oh my god?! HOW could she do that?!"
"WHY did she tell you and not me?!"
"I'm not friends with so and so and I'm going to be really upset if you get coffee with her next weekend!"
etcetcetcdramadramadrama
As adults we begin to realise "Hey...this is MY life! I'm old enough (and ugly enough) to make my own desicions, learn from my mistakes and generally get on with it without it being up for a group debate"
We will ask for advice and support when its needed but it wont necessarily be a round robin free for all discussion. And our friends need to not be upset when we choose not to take their advice.
I've also personally found that the "growing up" period affects us all differently. We learn different life lessons at different paces. We change and learn about ourselves at differnet times. We make differnet choices that changes our viewpoints. And this can lead to stresses because we're all going through differnet changes....not like puberty when the problems (dispite feeling like we're the only one they affect) are all fairly similar.
The problems arise when it becomes difficult to see where the changes have emerged and not always accept that these might be for the better. Or when you can see changes in yourself but not in others.
Eni had a brilliant quote (paraphrased due to my rubbish memory!) "Being an adult is when you can be happy for your friends, even if it might upset you that things are changing"
For me the best example of that is my friends I went to infant and primary school. We drifted as a group after school but the key thing that brought us all back together was when Karen had the twins.
Friendships are ever changing things and that makes them hard. Sometimes everything happens for a reason though.
Thursday, 6 May 2010
It's all booked!
Flights are booked - heading back to Fort Collins on Sat 5th June! I was going to spend a weekend with the fabulous McMegs in Chi-Town but unfortunatly dates/time off work for both of us etc just didnt allow it. Boo :(
But I know this is not the only oppurtunity and we will be staying in contact loads while I'm there. Woo hoo!
I'll be working right up until I leave pretty much which does kinda suck but at the same time is pretty good financially. Another major bonus will be getting this bit of money back from the taxman for overpaying for the last 2 years. WOOP WOOP! It's definitly coming about at the right time!
Jobs going great. Its nice and easy, people are lovely, days actually go pretty quick seeing as I leave at 5 and mornings tend to fly by anyway so thats cool.
Tommorow is me, Janna and Alaya's Trio Anniversary. (The day we all became friends) 9 years! A Trio of Trios. I can't believe it. We've been through so much in that time and to see that we're still the closest of friends is amazing in my eyes. Then on Saturday we'll be meeting up with the other two lovely ladies Zakiyyah and Holly who form The Girlies and having a wonderful day trekking over London to find the Elephants!
But I know this is not the only oppurtunity and we will be staying in contact loads while I'm there. Woo hoo!
I'll be working right up until I leave pretty much which does kinda suck but at the same time is pretty good financially. Another major bonus will be getting this bit of money back from the taxman for overpaying for the last 2 years. WOOP WOOP! It's definitly coming about at the right time!
Jobs going great. Its nice and easy, people are lovely, days actually go pretty quick seeing as I leave at 5 and mornings tend to fly by anyway so thats cool.
The Trio
Ma Girlies!
Finally I just want to end by saying how infinitly proud I am of Codaniel. I dont think he reads my blog but I know he knows it. I tell him often enough! Yesterday was a big day for him and I really wish I could've been there to take him out to dinner between his two crazy work shifts. We did speak on the phone for a good long length of time though and that was lovely!
He truly has made a huge accomplishment. I'm so happy to see him happy and content in his life and able to continue becoming the amazing person that he is.
I'm proud to be a part of his life. I love you Snowflake!
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