Days 20 - 26 (Bad blogger...)

So I have been an extremely bad blogger. Haven't blogged for nearly a week. I suck at this game! 

So here we go...massive blog post to catch up! :D

Day 20 – This month

This month has been a bit of a weird one. I moved out on a short term basis...for the sake of my sanity. It was a nice lil flat, I actually really liked it. Only problem was the price (because it was short term) so I ended up coming back home 10 days earlier than planned. 

When I get back from the States I plan on moving into my own place as soon as I can. 

This month was also my sisters 18th Birthday, Beccas visit and one month until I see my Codaniel again!

Day 21 – Another moment

Winning the Christmas pod decorating competition! 

At work there is a tradition where each lil pod of desks (each team) decorates them for Christmas and then theres a judging competetion. Me being the over the top, over-excitable person that I am, I was well excited about it. Especially as my team told me they never normally have time to plan anything and dont do much. 

So I had been planning ideas since September and the idea everyone liked was "Return to Sender". Because our team received a lot of returned mail and it was Christmas No 1 in 1962 (theres the Christmassy theme) we performed and everything!

I was really hoping we would win, although competition was fierce....and we did! Albeit a joint victory with the team that performed "The Nutcracker" but that was fair, as they'd won 2 years running and really wanted the hat trick.

Oh yeah and the prize? The wonderful paper mache turkey! 

Day 22 – This upsets me

Many things upset me. From the trivial (like soppy movies) to the big. I think the things that upset me the most is when my faith in things is challenged. I have great faith in the people I love. In how much I'd like to think they love and care about me in return. Especially with the people I have invested so much into. 

And to be a part of situations where you learn they perhaps didnt care as much as you thought they did truly upsets me. Realising they dont know you at all, dont value your thoughts or opinions or worse - feelings. Sometimes feeling like they dont even respect you as a human being 

I've been in this situation with "friends", friends, family, partners - you name it. And it hurts. It truly does. But then maybe this is the outcome of thinking the ones you love can do no wrong. Although at the same time theres a big difference between doing "no wrong" and disregarding you entirely. 

Day 23 – This makes me feel better

When your faith in humanity is then restored. Comments from a stranger, a loved one redeeming themselves. But most of all - hearing someone who truly loves me telling me they wish I didnt have to go through that. 

Hugs make me feel better too. I truly believe there is no problem in the world that cant begin to be solved by someone holding you. I think its because we revert to childhood a little bit. When a scraped knee or a lost toy could be made better with a cuddle. Being wrapped in someones arms makes us feel safe and loved. Secure - completely safe from the outside world. 

Its also the human contact thing. Makes us feel much less alone. 

This is why I love the "Free Hugs" campaign. I'd quite like to take part in one of those myself one day. 

Day 24 – This makes me cry

See Day 22....

Day 25 – A first

Hmmm...

My first job. I worked in Greggs. Greggs for those of you not in the UK is a chain of bakers. They sell sandwiches, pasties, cakes, donughts etc. And they're actually very cheap. Very "working class staple" :D

My friend Karen got me the job - bless her, I'm always greatful to her for that. We were only 6, both at college and wanting to eearn our extra money. It may've only been a Saturday job but I worked hard - proud to be earning my own money. I picked up extra shifts whenever I could fit it in around my college schedule. 

The first store I worked in with Karen was SO busy and run by right battle-axes. After a few months there I transferred to a different store. Further to travel for work but it was so worth it. The staff were lovely, my manager was an angel and I had so much fun working there. I was sad to leave, when I entered the word of fundraising. My manager tried to get me to stay, saying she could get me an assistant managers job and I could progress to manager really quickly. 

That was a big opportunity at age 18 but I decided I didnt want to be in retail my whole life. I needed a change. Maybe the managerial experience would've been beneficial but I made my choice. 

Day 26 – My fears

Fears. Actual phobias include needles, hospitals and doctors in general. I cant stand them! It stems primarily from having my first shot (in memory) at about age 7. It was a bit scary - as shots are to 7 year olds, but I got through it. However after I got back to my classroom (it was at school...and boy was our school nurse evil!) I started feeling really ill and ended up fainting in my teachers lap! 

I dont know if it was because of the injection, if I was ill or overheated or what. But since then I associate the two and its terrifying. I hate fainting. I've fainted more times than I can count in my lifetime! 

Although I'm getting better, I nearly passed out on the train the other day because I'd been ill and then was really overheated on the crowded commuter train. But I refused, point blank, and I managed not to. 

Still doesnt stop me hating needles though! I better get over it soon. Apparently if I move to the States I need to have somewhere close to 20 different inoculations! *Shudders*

Day 19 – This I regret

Just like Robbie taught us I try to have no regrets. 

We all make mistakes. We're only human. What is important is how we learn from those mistakes.

In terms of myself and my personal development I could regret a lot of things. I could regret not going to uni, not learning how to drive at 16, not having moved into my own place properly. etc etc

But for each of these things that I could regret there are good things - or at least reasons - that have come out of them. 

I think the only regrets I can truly say I have is for the way I have treated some people. Unfairly, often harshly and more often than not because I was being extremely selfish. Very often in affairs of the heart. I could say I was young and stupid and whilst that may hold some sway, on the whole I'm an intelligent girl and I should've known better. 

I often think there's no changing the past. Maybe there is. Maybe the boy who's heart I no doubt broke because I went after something "better" (read as: More attainable, he wasnt half way across the country) could feel a sense of peace if I found his address in an old diary and wrote to him to apologise. Maybe you should let sleeping dogs lie? Who knows. 

All I know is that the things I have done wrong...and for the things I will no doubt continue to do wrong (hey - I am only human!) I hope I will learn from them, move forward and try and prevent myself having those same regrets again.

And then the only thing I could ever truly regret is not having learnt from my mistakes.

Day 18 – My favorite birthday

My favourite birthday..

I think my favourite overall birthday would have been my last birthday, my 23rd and the first one spent with Codaniel.

Before my birthday me and Megs had a joint birthday celebration in Chicago which was the MOST fun ever! Can we say Penthouse at the hotel? Getting seated straight away after being told a 90minute wait at Cheesecake factory, wonderful lazy loungy days watching The Notebook and eating lots of junk food - fun times!

And then my actual birthday was spent in Fort Collins with my baby. The best part of the day for me was the very beginning - right around midnight. We spent a wonderful time together, working on our song and he gave me my necklace which I adore.

And I'm really looking forward to my next birthday which will again be with him. What more could I ask for? :)

(Sun 19th) Day 17 – My favorite memory

Hmm thats really tough. Generally speaking my memory sucks. This is why I take so many pictures!

It totally depends on who I'm with, I have lots of special memories with everyone I care about.

Generally speaking its the little things that I love the most. A random joke and giggling until you cant breath, impromptu cuddle with my sister watching a girly movie, staring contentedly into Codaniel's eyes, talking about nothing in particular.

I love how the random memories come back when your least expecting it. Having a chat with a friend and you suddenly go "Remember the time when..." and it results in more hysterical laughter!

So heres to creating many more memories! :D